I went to bed at ten thirty and woke up at four, violently ill. I have really awful dreams. I always have awful dreams around finals time, but these were special. They addressed, in the worst sort of fashion, several of the worst anxieties I have. Public speaking skills, not getting my wisdom teeth pulled, etc. And then, the grades.
And they were incredibly vivid. I dreamt I was taking a class with Andrew Sullivan on American conservatism from the New Deal, onward. And I can tell you test questions. Brooke and Peyton from OTH were both in my class, and on the final, Peyton threatened to turn me in for cheating. Which I wasn't, really. I just ahdn't started the test on time because I was frantically reading my notes. And Andrew Sullivan's tests were awful. And on my student evaluation, he encouraged me to pursue other things.
I dreamt that I made a 79 on my final in Medieval Literature, the one I took last week. And it was by list and the person above me's name was Blaine Wilson, but he looked just like my TA from two semesters ago; the one who hated me and I dropped the class.
And finally, I dreamt that I slept through Legal Studies, and Floridan wouldn't let me take the final. Even though I begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged some more. It was ridiculous because I don't ever beg to teachers. I almost never even talk to teachers. Hold over from years at Catholic School, back when I thought teachers were out to get me.
Anyway, I always have finals dreams but these were horrible. Especially the part about Andrew Sullivan.
*shudder* Now my parents are coming over with a care package, so I'm off to shine the floors and put on something presentable and pretend I went to class today. Fuck. I don't deserve my parents.