When I logged into my e-mail today, I noticed that the top story on AOL was about Arctic sea ice. Scientists have been predicting that summer sea ice in the Arctic would vanish completely aroundabouts 2040. But now NASA scientists are saying it will happen much more quickly, as soon as 2012. Which, you know, is like FIVE YEARS from now.

So that was pretty crazy, but then I remembered that the huge climate summit (the new Kyoto Protocol, basically) is going on in Bali right now, and I thought maybe the scientists were trying to influence whatever was going on there by being as scary as possible. So I headed on over to Google News to see what sort of progress is being made.

Defying all predictions, the United States delegation at the United Nations climate conference in Bali, Indonesia, appears to have successfully blocked agreement on specific emissions-reduction targets so far. Europe and many developing nations have called for cuts of 25 percent to 40 percent by 2020 to avoid the effects of catastrophic warming, but in the face of U.S. opposition, U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon said today that setting specific targets now "may be too ambitious."

HA HA HA HA HA HA. Because if I don't laugh I will cry.

ETA: Why can't aaaall of the other countries/delegates get together and lay down the fothermucking law? Censure us! Sanction us! Do it! Please! TAKE US DOWN! It is for our own good!

1. Almost every time I watch Pirates of the Caribbean, I end up having a conversation about whether or not Jack and Will's stunt with the overturned boat would have worked. Anyone who has ever owned pool toys knows that trying to drag a noodle or a boogie board (or anything intended to float) underwater is very tough to do, and it seems like it would be impossible to hold an air-filled boat under the water, unless you were in possession of super human strength. I'd thought maybe the weight of a wooden boat would help keep it submerged, but I've never been convinced that it was actually possible. IT BOTHERS ME, OKAY. So I was thrilled to see that Mythbusters is doing an episode on PotC during which they will put this trick to the test. Wednesday at 9:00!

2. I feel very strongly that if you are in a band and your band fails at enunciation, then you have an OBLIGATION to print your lyrics in the liner notes. If your label won't spring for more than four pages, or if you are a pretentious asshat who prefers cryptic artwork or elaborate photo shoots, then you should at least have the courtesy to post your lyrics at your website. In an obvious place and labeled properly! I do not want to have to poke all over your stupid webspace to find them because you are too creative to have an intuitive site. GOD. Why do I even buy music?

3. One of my sisters loves the Jonas Brothers, and it is not who you would think. Little Miss Ten Whole Years actually calls them the Bogus Brothers -- and she claims to have made that up herself which, frankly, makes me proud. Heather is the fan, and she has been inflicting them on the rest of us all weekend. Surprisingly, I think they are kind of cute and do not mind them at all. I keep catching myself humming "Hold On."

4. I did manage to see Enchanted, so go me. It was so overwhelmingly sweet that I sort of felt as if I should go eat a lemon or seventy afterwards, but it was a fun time at the movies. It is very much a homage to the Disney Princess classics, so if you like those I would definitely recommend it.

5. I watched some of the Planet Earth encore with my sister tonight and got a little weepy during several parts. We have such a beautiful planet, you guys! But I am kinda disappointed with Fearless Earth. It is very... melodramatic.

6. I find it difficult to comprehend that Japan is going to kill 50 Humpback Whales from the Southern Ocean Whale Sanctuary. Can you imagine going into a restaurant and being all like, "I WILL HAVE THE HUMPBACK WHALE. MEDIUM RARE, PLZ." You must have to be a SERIOUS DOUCHEBAG. I assume it is a conspicuously expensive meal, which makes it even grosser. According to this article linked by gelxgel, the Japanese government is actually spending millions of dollars to promote the consumption of whale meat, which has waned in popularity over the past few decades. How messed up is that! I also read that whale (and dolphin) meat is particularly high in mercury and other toxins. So it makes even less sense to me than it did before. JAPAN MUST BE STOPPED, YOU GUYS. Somebody call Hayden Panettiere!

7. Blake Lively is awesome in this clip from The View. She addresses a rumor that she and Leighton aren't getting along, and instead of just denying it, she points out how sexist the rumor is and that none of her male costars have had to deal with articles speculating about their professional relationships. FTW!

8. ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN IN THE SEC, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN. Tennessee won in their fourth overtime, which was hard to stomach since it means that Georgia's season is basically over, aside from whichever probably awesome bowl game we will get. And watching the LSU/Arkansas game was SO CRAZY. On the one hand, Arkansas winning was a fun upset, and I do enjoy seeing grown men cry. But LSU is >>> OSU and Kansas and probably Missouri, so it is sad that they will not get to play for the championship. But that is always the way! The SEC eats its own and then watches other teams play for the glory. (Admittedly, we were not as fantastic as usual this year, but neither was anyone else, so.)

9. I am really, really hoping the the WGA strike will end this week. Talks resume today, and everyone sounds hopeful, so fingers crossed. In the meantime, go watch the best video to come out of the strike so far: hungVP158 gives us the AMPTP's perspective on the issues. God, I miss The Colbert Report.

So I am a dryer sheet girl, but today I read in Time that dryer sheets (and most other artificial fragrance products) contain all sorts of poisonous chemicals and carcinogens! Apparently the FDA doesn't think this is a problem because "there is no evidence that these chemicals are absorbed through the skin." But, actually, that's bullshit because a.) most of these chemicals are solvents which means that moving through stuff is basically their speciality and b.) all you have to do is perspire a little to make it really easy for said chemicals to be absorbed into your nervous system and bloodstream.

Which, you know, fantastic. I have been washing my clothes in sweet-smelling, cancer-causing poisons my whole entire life. I mean, I am sure there will be NO ADVERSE EFFECTS WHATSOEVER.

And that's just one example. I am still looking for a non-aluminum alternative to my screwy-lid water bottle; apparently poly-carbonate water bottles leach into your water like crazy! Same goes for cling wrap and plastic tupperware and plastic pitchers and plastic containers, and holy crap, it seems like almost everything I eat comes wrapped in plastic!

And then I heard on the news that all non-organic chicken in the US is tainted with trace amounts of arsenic (!!!) because companies put it in the chicken feed (!!!) to keep out rats. And everybody knows by now that tuna has a lot of mercury in it, which is why you're not supposed to eat more than two servings a week. And then there's lead paint, and 90% of everything you own was made in China, and who even wants to know what you're breathing in on a daily basis?

Does this not scare anybody else? Because, really, I try not to think about it, but whenever I do I feel very UNSAFE.

I TiVoed the billion hours of Live Earth that Bravo aired, but I haven't had a chance to watch most of it yet. I feel as if we should have a conversation about how TERRIBLE Taking Back Sunday is. Because, seriously, they have earned the Worst Ever Live Televised Performance trophy away from Hoobastank. Madonna's "Hey You" song is super cheesy, but the performance was entertaining because she was backed by what was apparently the Hogwarts Children's Choir. Yes, I am a fountain of negativity. I really enjoyed most of what I saw, though!

And I am going to brag about my dad now! He finished taking a class on installing solar energy systems, and he made an A+! (Okay, but he bitched A LOT for a long time about all the math involved.) He's certified to design residential solar power systems, and so that's something he's going to try to do whenever my family finally manages to move to wherever it is they are moving to. He says it might cost as much as $30,000, but the tax break is hefty, and he can even make money by feeding power back into the grid if he does it right. Yes, my dad is pretty awesome!

See, this is what we need. An electranet of houses and apartments and businesses with proper solar panelling, all making as much of their own power as possible and feeding the leftovers back into the grid!

I went to see Paul Hawken speak at the Jimmy Carter Center tonight, and that was awesome. But my mom decided to hold off watching Idol out of the goodness of her heart. (Which was a nice gesture but not entirely welcome since my mom cannot miss a minute of American Idol, tedious filler and all.) So, of course, I sit through about an hour and a half of Idol, and we get to the end, and the recording CUTS OFF. Because the show ran over. Way, way, way, way over. WE DIDN'T GET TO SEE WHO WON.

My reaction when it cut off was hysterical laughter, but it's really not that funny because I am pretty sure my mom will NEVER forgive me.

So I was hoping to make an Earth Day resolution, but I can't decide what to do. My tree-hugger parents have for the most part already made sure that we do all the sound-bitey things - flourescents, recycling, composting, rain barrels, canvas shopping bags, non-toxic cleaning supplies, etc. And we get a lot of our produce from an organic CSA we joined last year. So I am going to have to dig a little deeper. But I will definitely stop taking indulgent, twenty-minute, scalding-hot showers. D:

Also, I finally finished the Green Issue of Vanity Fair, and it was A+! Much better than the last one. And among the many intersting articles, there's a really great one about this epic Ecuadorean lawsuit against Chevron. Back in the 70s and 80s, Texaco FUCKED part of the rainforest and Amazon river, permanently poisoning the soil and the water for thousands of poor Ecuadoreans. And now the town is suing Chevron, which ate Texaco, for $6 billion dollars.

And the whole story is so crazy and so righteous and so inspiring, that IT MUST BE MADE INTO A MOVIE. Hollywood doesn't even have to embellish it. Consider:

1. The lead attorney on the case is Pablo Fajarado, the son of Ecuadorean peasants who says that he went to "night school" for six years to become a lawyer. By night school, he means that he woke up at 3:30am every morning and studied until 8:00am. He worked two jobs, one of them unpaid, from 9:00am-11:00pm. He worked for six months on a thesis that would have guarateed him the title of "Doctor," but it was stolen, so he goes by "Advocate" in the courtroom instead. THIS IS HIS FIRST CASE.

2. In addition to the million-dollar lawyers Chevron has from America, it has hired a team of upper-crust Ecuadorean lawyers, making the lawsuit representative of the social divide between the Spanish-descended upper-class of Ecuador and the dirt-poor natives.

3. Fajarado has received death threats. His best friend was killed in what may or may not have been an attempt on his own life. He was routinely followed for months by thugs trying to intimidate him. For a while, he was scared to walk on the streets.

4. Some of the plantiff law offices have been burglarized, and the spokesperson for the their legal team has been targeted several times; once she and her daughter were almost driven off the road by a black S.U.V., and one of her friends was mistaken for her and assualted outside of her house.

5. Ecuador's "government" is crazy-corrupt, and Fajarado has been charged with "terrorism and sabotage" by the public prosecuter in the city where he lives. There is no warrant for his arrest - yet.

6. In at least one instance (probably more), it's been proven that Chevron has financially contracted the local military to lie/cause trouble, in order to delay the trial.

7. The story is CHALK-FULL of evil lawyers.

Wouldn't that be the BEST movie ever, especially if the Ecuadoreans win? Even if they don't win, it's still EPIC!

Personally, I think since Global Warming sounds like too nice of a phenomenon, we should call it Global Roasting or Global Steaming or something. Global Barbequeing! Okay, yeah, I'm hungry.

I'm getting ready to leave for Amicalola (Am-eh-ca-lula) Falls for a picnic, and it is LITERALLY 85 degrees outside. It should not be this hot in MARCH.

I watched Al Gore's testimony to the House and Senate yesterday, and it's pretty apparent he won't be running for president; his recommendations to Congress were so awesome and so comprehensive that it's clear he has no political ambitions.

Al Gore's suggestions, stolen from Grist:

1. An immediate "carbon freeze" that would cap U.S. CO2 emissions at current levels, followed by a program to generate 90% reductions by 2050.


2. Start a long-term tax shift to reduce payroll taxes and increase taxes on CO2 emissions.


3. Put aside a portion of carbon tax revenues to help low-income people make the transition.


4. Create a strong international treaty by working toward "de facto compliance with Kyoto" and moving up the start date for Kyoto's successor from 2012 to 2010.


5. Implement a moratorium on construction of new coal-fired power plants that are not compatible with carbon capture and sequestration.


6. Create an "ELECTRANET" -- a smart electricity grid that allows individuals and businesses to feed power back in at prevailing market rates.


7. Raise CAFE standards.


8. Set a date for a ban on incandescent light bulbs.


9. Create "Connie Mae," a carbon-neutral mortgage association, to help defray the upfront costs of energy-efficient building.


10. Have the SEC require disclosure of carbon emissions in corporate reporting, as a relevant "material risk."

While I was telling my mom about the suggestions, I really got into the Electranet and was talking about how awesome it could be when I started tearing up because it is just so. completely. sad. that Al Gore is not our president. It's a really difficult thing to see what we could have had in light of what we got.

Hillary Clinton was pretty cool when it was her turn to ask questions. Her speeches are usually awkward non-events in which she says nothing, but I always enjoy seeing her in action. I wish we saw more of this side of her.

Also, scientists are saying that the arctic ice-cap could be gone as soon as thirty-four years from now. WHAT.

ETA: "(No word from Sen. Barack Obama [D-Ill.], the only member of the Environment and Public Works Committee who didn't attend.)" What?!

You know, a subscription to National Geographic is by my estimation a really fantastic gift for an acquaintance. And it's only $15! It's much better than an overpriced giftbasket or chocolate box. I mean, it's National Geographic! It's totally awesome!

Anyway, today scientists officially declared China river dolphins extinct. I remember reading a feature in this year's summer issue of National Geographic about a woman who canooed down the Irrawaddy River in Myanmar, where river dolphins help fishermen fish, quite literally. The relationship between the fishermen and the dolphins has been passed down for generations; the fishermen on the Irrawaddy consider the dolphins to be family, and they know the dolphins by sight and name. I looked it up, and at the time it was printed in May 2006, scientists estimated that there were only 70 river dolphins left on the Irrawaddy, and they're not expected to survive as fishing becomes more and more commercial and mining/damming/logging continue to affect their habitats. There's kind of a tragic inevitableness about it.

I know a lot of people roll their eyes about hysteria over the loss of subspecies X of species Y, but I don't really think that's fair. I'm realistic about the necessary costs of economic progress, especially in places with debilitating poverty like Myanmar. But I also think it's incredibly important to acknowlege the costs of progress, and I think it's appropriate to grieve for what we lose.

I hope everyone had nice Memorial Day weekends. *afterthought* Or just regular weekends if you're not part of the USofA. I spent most of mine sleeping and helping my dad build a long retaining wall in our hilly back yard. Out of 40 pound concrete blocks. My back is destroyed. I'm sitting here with an icy-hot patch on and lots of pillows. I know you're supposed to lift with your knees and not with your back, but that makes about as much sense to me as "sing with your diaphram!" Which is to say not much.

Speaking of Memorial Day, (and this is blatantly stolen from Washington Monthly) a bunch of conservative types spent Monday and Tuesday wigging out over the fact that Google didn't replace its header with a special "Google Doodle" to celebrate Memorial Day. WHY DO THEY HATE AMERICA, etc. Yawn. For the record, Google says they generally reserve doodles for famous birthdays and "international celebrations." And if you're interested, they keep an archive of every Google Doodle ever here.

I saw and mostly hated X3. I was going to say something about how I don't go to super hero movies to get my emo on, but that's not really true; comic book movies are always angst-heavy and rightly so, I guess. But something about X3, even aside from the obvious, was just really, really bleak and unfun. And nothing like a sequel is in the works (although two prequels are) which makes it even worse. Gah. Me no like!

My webserver finally finally FINALLY unsuspended me, so I think I will do a smallish music post later to celebrate. Although, not using my webspace, heh.

P.S. There is a good article in May's National Geographic about the political war over drilling in ANWR and how it's obscuring the eminent auctioning and drilling of parts of Alaska's NPRA that have been protected until now. I didn't know hardly anything about the NPRA until I read this, and the whole article was really informative. And pretty, of course. There was a good article about Prince Charles as well. I always thought of him as that dude who cheated on Princess Diana. I didn't know he was such a big organic farming and New Urbanism geek.

I just bought a shiny new pair of Blackspot Sneakers.

And I can feel good about buying them because they're made using organic hemp and water retting (no chemicals). The rubber is 70% biodegradable. They're made in Portugal in a factory that pays a decent wage with good benefits and a union.

I just bought a pair of sneakers and I feel great about where they're coming from. I don't feel guilty about exorbitant profits and starvation wages and sweat shops. And I don't have to be an unpaid walking billboard for a shitty corporation.

So they're not New Balance or whatever is "cool" these days. But I think this is way cooler.

Now, they're 57 bucks, so it's not like they're a great deal or anything. A lot of the price goes to Adbuster campaigns and other "Culture Jammer" anticorporation activism stuff. And I'm good with supporting that.

( Cynicism inspired by Q's journal entry )

Well, my. That was depressing.

Veronica Mars.
Tonight. 9PM. UPN.

You should watch it.