+ This mockery of Twilight made me laugh so hard that I literally cried. The person who wrote it is my HERO FOR LIFE, because it perfectly captures a.) how ridiculously terrible the books are, b.) what a total fop Edward Cullen is, c.) what a complete mary sue Bella is, and d.) how disgusting and gross and creepy their FIXATION with each other is. Seriously, if you have never read the books, GO READ THIS NOW. It is all the summary you will ever need! (h/t jadedquill)

+ chocolatepot's boggling over Phillipa Gregory's Wideacre was equal parts disturbing and amusing. I did not know that much incest was allowed in mainstream fiction?

+ meivocis posted tons and tons of cool super hero icons.

+ Hey, did you hear Josh Schwartz is writing the X-Men movie prequel about Xavier Academy? O.o

+ And that Ed Westwick is starring in a Donnie Darko sequel? o.O

+ I posted five mellow indie albums yesterday.

I really have nothing to say about Gossip Girl this week. I enjoyed it, and the ending was much with the LULZ. I am, however, very much looking forward to next week. ( Because... )

Also.



Replace "SEGFAULTS" (whatever those are) with "Politics," and this is SO TRUE.

Also, because this is a Top 5 that I really really really wanted to be asked... ( Top 5 xkcd comics )

Feel free to reply in the comments with your favorite xkcd strip. That would make me happy!

( Top Five Favorite Canon Pairings In Television )

( Top Five Panfandom Fics )

( Top Five Favorite Crack!Pairings )

( Top 5 Fandom Implosions )

( Top 5 Unreleased Albums That I Need Immediately )

( Top 5 HP Moments )

( Top 5 Things About Veronica Mars )

( Top 5 Least Favorite Things About Veronica Mars )

( Top 5 Icons I Need In My Life )

HA! DONE!

Also, if you have somehow not heard about the Open Source Boob Project, then you should not go here. But I feel that I should at least say SOMETHING about it, because it really really really sucks and is one of the worst, most misogynistic things I have ever had the misfortune to come across in fandom. I'm mostly stupefied as to how anybody can think that's okay. And I am really sad to see so many women say they don't see what the big deal is. Sadface!

In more cheerful news, did you see Thomas Dekker's new look? DUDE, HE IS SO TOTALLY HARDCORE!!! I sent that to one of my sisters last night, and I am pretty sure she cried. (She was very devoted to his bangs.)

1. Almost every time I watch Pirates of the Caribbean, I end up having a conversation about whether or not Jack and Will's stunt with the overturned boat would have worked. Anyone who has ever owned pool toys knows that trying to drag a noodle or a boogie board (or anything intended to float) underwater is very tough to do, and it seems like it would be impossible to hold an air-filled boat under the water, unless you were in possession of super human strength. I'd thought maybe the weight of a wooden boat would help keep it submerged, but I've never been convinced that it was actually possible. IT BOTHERS ME, OKAY. So I was thrilled to see that Mythbusters is doing an episode on PotC during which they will put this trick to the test. Wednesday at 9:00!

2. I feel very strongly that if you are in a band and your band fails at enunciation, then you have an OBLIGATION to print your lyrics in the liner notes. If your label won't spring for more than four pages, or if you are a pretentious asshat who prefers cryptic artwork or elaborate photo shoots, then you should at least have the courtesy to post your lyrics at your website. In an obvious place and labeled properly! I do not want to have to poke all over your stupid webspace to find them because you are too creative to have an intuitive site. GOD. Why do I even buy music?

3. One of my sisters loves the Jonas Brothers, and it is not who you would think. Little Miss Ten Whole Years actually calls them the Bogus Brothers -- and she claims to have made that up herself which, frankly, makes me proud. Heather is the fan, and she has been inflicting them on the rest of us all weekend. Surprisingly, I think they are kind of cute and do not mind them at all. I keep catching myself humming "Hold On."

4. I did manage to see Enchanted, so go me. It was so overwhelmingly sweet that I sort of felt as if I should go eat a lemon or seventy afterwards, but it was a fun time at the movies. It is very much a homage to the Disney Princess classics, so if you like those I would definitely recommend it.

5. I watched some of the Planet Earth encore with my sister tonight and got a little weepy during several parts. We have such a beautiful planet, you guys! But I am kinda disappointed with Fearless Earth. It is very... melodramatic.

6. I find it difficult to comprehend that Japan is going to kill 50 Humpback Whales from the Southern Ocean Whale Sanctuary. Can you imagine going into a restaurant and being all like, "I WILL HAVE THE HUMPBACK WHALE. MEDIUM RARE, PLZ." You must have to be a SERIOUS DOUCHEBAG. I assume it is a conspicuously expensive meal, which makes it even grosser. According to this article linked by gelxgel, the Japanese government is actually spending millions of dollars to promote the consumption of whale meat, which has waned in popularity over the past few decades. How messed up is that! I also read that whale (and dolphin) meat is particularly high in mercury and other toxins. So it makes even less sense to me than it did before. JAPAN MUST BE STOPPED, YOU GUYS. Somebody call Hayden Panettiere!

7. Blake Lively is awesome in this clip from The View. She addresses a rumor that she and Leighton aren't getting along, and instead of just denying it, she points out how sexist the rumor is and that none of her male costars have had to deal with articles speculating about their professional relationships. FTW!

8. ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN IN THE SEC, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN. Tennessee won in their fourth overtime, which was hard to stomach since it means that Georgia's season is basically over, aside from whichever probably awesome bowl game we will get. And watching the LSU/Arkansas game was SO CRAZY. On the one hand, Arkansas winning was a fun upset, and I do enjoy seeing grown men cry. But LSU is >>> OSU and Kansas and probably Missouri, so it is sad that they will not get to play for the championship. But that is always the way! The SEC eats its own and then watches other teams play for the glory. (Admittedly, we were not as fantastic as usual this year, but neither was anyone else, so.)

9. I am really, really hoping the the WGA strike will end this week. Talks resume today, and everyone sounds hopeful, so fingers crossed. In the meantime, go watch the best video to come out of the strike so far: hungVP158 gives us the AMPTP's perspective on the issues. God, I miss The Colbert Report.

ILU, Kanye! They CSIed you!

Steve Jobs cracks my shit up. Apparently, he and his family lived in a 1926 mansion, the Jackling House, for about a decade. Jobs loved the property, but the house had so many problems (he called it an "architectural abomination") that he planned to build a new house in its place. Only some historical preservation types were not having that and sued to stop Jobs from demolishing the mansion. California ruled against Jobs several times, and today the California Supreme Court refused to review the case. So Steve Jobs is now offering a total of $450,000 for demolition and debris removal to anyone who will buy, dismantle and move the 1926 mansion to a new home where it can be preserved in all of it's architectural abomination. So he can build the new house Johnny Ives designed for him.

So that's already kind of hilarious, but the really funny shit is what some of the Macheads have to say:

"One of the first things you learn in economics class is that luxury goods are highly elastic... People who's [sic] livelihoods depend on building fancy houses, on the other hand, are providing a highly inelastic product... While Jobs and the courts fight over this house, the true losers are the many workers who were going to be employed to build Steve's multi-million dollar wonder house."

LMFAO.

The FDA has succumbed to lobbying by Archer Daniels Midland, Grocery Manufacturers of America and the Chocolate Manufacturers Association. They are preparing to roll back regulations and allow chocolate and candy manufacturers to replace cocoa butter with cheap vegetable oil!

THIS TIME OUR GOVERNMENT HAS GONE TOO FAR.

+ Dial Idol breaks my spirit.

+ Addison's Anatomy has a name: Private Practice. (ETA: lodessa linked to an official summary of the show in the comments, and it sounds great to me.)

+ The U.S. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows cover art is awesome. I love that on the front you have GOOD and then it's like *flip* to the EVIL on the back. A+!

+ The new Potter Puppet Pals video made me laugh so hard I almost cried.

+ This political/The Office parody made me laugh so hard that I did cry.

+ Oh yeah. I got my Glarkware TWoP swag in the mail, finally. I bought the Go Pirates hoodie and The Fake News Is All I Need shirt when they had their big NoN Leftovers sale at the beginning of this month.

The Valentine's Day episode of KP was hands down my favorite of the four that were aired tonight. I need a Kim Possible icon immediately. I know EXACTLY what icon I want. I want a "The Ron Factor!" icon with Ron Weasley and Ron Unstoppable both on it. But I am laaazy.

JT's new video is on YouTube now, and it really is bizarrely homicidal. (It's not just that Britney's Scarlett's car crashes at the exact moment of the song when Justin is singing: "Girl, you got what you deserved!" Check out the look on his face in the very next scene. He's smirking RIGHT INTO the camera, and his pose is triumphant.

And this is the best thing I have ever seen, possibly: Every House Episode Ever in Yahoo Emoticons!

Marti Noxon, known far-and-wide throughout Buffy Fen as "The Queen of Darkness," is now working for Grey's Anatomy. This amuses me.

I don't usually care for The Soup, but they did a completely hilarious skit poking fun at Sorkin and Studio 60. And they released it as bonus content on the Internets, which basically means they own my soul forever.



I have a huge Smallville-related rant brewing in me, but I think it can wait until next week, if I must write it at all. Ranting about Smallville is pretty useless. (Unless you're one of the Clanna fans who organized a letter-writing campaign to the executive producers that apparently accomplished what years of bitching haven't been able to for the other 98% of us.)

Super Soaker has a new gun called the "oozinator" that spews a filmy looking... erm... ooze. SERIOUSLY.

Watch the TV commercial. Bring your inner 8 year-old.

Does it really say "major pumping required" at the end? *gigglesnort*

ETA: msscribe/delwarean/dejaspirit joins brain_injury! Excuses, excuses...

Some of you have probably already seen this from when 19_99 posted it a few days back, but if you haven't you need to check out World War II in chatspeak. q_sama especially. I laughed so hard that I cried, no lie.( Of course, I am a big geek.) But seriously. It's funny.

Also, there were two Veronica/Vinnie Vanlowe fics on my friends page this morning. Sometimes I really love fandom.

I ♥ Mike Luckovich. This is the most fabulous editorial cartoon I have ever seen.

Re: Wildfire... OMG! Sully! From Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman! Is so NOT a deadbeat dad!

First off, you *must* check out this sidewalk art. It blows my mind that our eyes can play tricks on us like that.

I was gifted with Donkey Kong Konga today, with an extra set of bongo drums. So maybe being a twenty-something is not totally to be mourned. Although my other gift was dishes. And I was really happy to get them, too. I cannot believe I got old. I will be forty in less years than I've lived. I will start getting wrinkles in 8 years. And then I will die. Probably of cancer, if my family history has anything to do with it. Aging is not cool.

Also! I just read some spoilers for the next episode of House, and there is going to be the cutest BFF moment in TV history in two or three weeks, whenever AI stops being two hours.

Speaking of American Idol, Kelly or Kellie or however she spells it needs to leave. Now. She is Carrie Underwood version 2.0, and I just can't deal with that. So far I am not liking anyone. That Ace guy is cute, but not very talented. I like Paris and the guy with grey hair the best of anyone. I am not feeling AI this season. Which is fine since VM is coming back this week, and the word on the street is that the final 9 episodes are going to be incredible. They better be.

Avatar on Friday! My whole family is psyched. And we will all be together! That doesn't happen very often anymore.

This is possibly the most pointless entry I have ever written. I think I might be fixing to have the most pleasantly boring Spring Break in the history of the world. With bongos, of course.

ETA: OMG. I totally missed TWW tonight didn't I? Please tell me I didn't miss the thing.

I just drew the worst self portrait ever, which bears little to no resemblence to me besides the obvious coloration. But I had fun doing it.

This seems as good a time as any to let you guys know that I will not be celebrating by 22nd birthday next week. Thus, no birthday wishes or anything please. Seriously. It's all down hill from 21, and the only people I'm indulging are my parents. I don't want to be a twenty-something.

Brokeback... to the Future

If you love the Back to the Future trilogy you. must. go. watch. You must. Hee!

Hearts and minds, huh? Wutevre.

And this is not fake:

Okay. So I know a pimp a lot of stuff in my journal. And it's not because I want to annoy you or anything; I am just innately fannish.

But you guys have to check out this site. Someone who is a total genius has spliced George W. Bush's speeches and sound bytes and used them to cover and make up a bunch of songs. It's pretty incredible and the funniest thing I've heard all week. Seriously. Go listen. "Sunday Bloody Sunday" is my favorite.

But really, the reason I'm posting is that I am trying to remember the name of a song or the band who sang it... It was maybe four or five years back. It's a really crappy mainstream alternative song by a crappy mainstream alternative band. There's a lyric in there about "purple streaks in your hair" or something. And the video has a blond girl climbing a wall of speakers, and then she lets go and crowd surfs or something. Does anyone know or remember what I'm talking about? For some reason, I thought "Our Lady Peace" sang it, but I can't find it in their iTunes catalogue. Help?

So remember how during the whole "Vote Non" thing in France last month, one of the arguments against the EU had to do with free trade and labor, and the expression was that French drainage experts would be replaced with "Polish plumbers?" (Poor Poland. They're Europe's Mississippi.)

Well look at their new tourism adverts! Brilliant! :D

( ...when you notice stuff like this. )

Dude, that is one ugly shirt.